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spirit9123


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Join date : 2011-10-04
Age : 29
Location : United States

PostSubject: Second Draft   Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:15 pm


Introduction:
"Please present in posts below your pieces to be critique and/or your constructive criticism of other pieces presented. These threads are designed to assist and help artists improve, learn and gain confidence in their work and presentation of said work. Anyone who does not abide by the rules of this forum, Signature Rules and/or the rules of our critique section will be met with swift action of which in some cases will equal an immediate ban."

This is the Second Draft Thread!! In here will be the second place you are to present your work, from here you will also receive some follow up constructive criticism about said piece. After that you are welcome to ignore said advice, work on your piece with that advice and no more or present again in the next thread for the final draft =) The choice is yours, our hope is that people will find this a fun, interesting and learning experience.

So I invite everyone to participate in this section as both a presenter and a critiquer, and most importantly... have fun and stay creative =)


For a full explanation of the Critque Section, Rules and more please follow this link

Link to Final Draft for your smexy revision piece ^.^


EXAMPLE:
You are welcome to use your own structure/format as long as the Yin-Yang rule of equallity is maitained (as well as following all the other rules) and your criticism is CONSTRUCTIVE.
{Cyan= Optional but highly recommended}

Spoiler:
 

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Last edited by spirit9123 on Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Pharwynd


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Age : 29
Location : Victoria, Australia

PostSubject: Re: Second Draft   Mon Jan 02, 2012 6:46 pm



Ok so heres my second attempt, I have tried to fix the text but I am finding it hard due to making it want to flow with the flag versus clairity which was an issue in the last attempt.

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Princess-Bell




Posts : 29
Join date : 2011-10-05
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: Second Draft   Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:29 pm



Attempt #2 xD

since you guys said there was empty space i added a quote
sadly though i forgot to save the file so that i could edit its layers so i just worked with the sig as the background and added layers on top =/ hope it worked lol
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Mathy


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PostSubject: Re: Second Draft   Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:44 am




render's hand fixed
text color changed
face sharpened



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Pharwynd


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Age : 29
Location : Victoria, Australia

PostSubject: Re: Second Draft   Mon Jan 09, 2012 7:05 pm

It is fantastic to see people posting up their works for critique but we need to critique as well, or we have an (while rather smexy) art gallery instead of a critique thread designed for learning.

I however am enjoying the descriptions of how you have taken the next step in your works based on critique in the previous thread =), and everyone is utilizing it so well

For PrincessBell

Contrasts... you either love it or you hate... I am a lover of contrasts =) So I find this piece rather appealing in that respect. The balance and flow of the piece makes it easy to view and your eye glides to all the right places.

The text while occupying the space is good, it is blurry and hard to make out. (The script while elegant could be changed to a easier to read font if you wish to keep the size, or increasing the darkness around the text/eliminiating any "auras/glow" that are inhibiting the reading of it)
The rendering of the man's head seems out of place with the white "aura" around part of his head... perhaps positioning further right so that his head sits within more of the "brighter" colours or removing the aura entirely.

~+~

For Mathy



I love the softness of this piece, its colours and symmetry give it an overall peaceful and a quite femine look (in the good way =p).

While I agreed with Spirit about the face being a little blurred in the previous version, I find that in this one it is a little too sharp, in particular to the fringe. It might be possible to select only the face for sharpening, leaving the hair unchanged.. It might also create the face/eyes as even more of a focal point.

Overall both pieces = smexy =)


p.s 300th Post! Wootsies o.o

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PostSubject: Re: Second Draft   Today at 10:58 pm

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